Trust
by Subject87
Summary: Freddie and Carly's relationship falls apart due to mistrust. Cam is the main relationship, with a bit of Creddie, mostly focuses on Freddie though. Sorry for horrible summary. Rating Bumped to T for upcoming chapters just to be safe
1. iLie

_Lost in a dream  
Nothing is what it seems  
Searching my head  
For the words that you said _

Laying on his bed Freddie closed his eyes and sighed as he replayed the the thoughts that consumed his mind, his conversation about where he and Carly stood in their relationship. They had been dating for five months when she had admitted to him that she'd been having an affair with another person, Sam to be exact.

"I'm sorry Freddie," she had said after he had walked in on them kissing on the couch. They had walked out into the hallway to talk. Crossing his arms he sighed "Explain" he said softly, his voice calm and collected but underneath the calm she could hear fury. Carly, her lips trembling, looked into his eyes "I'm sorry okay? I just.. I'm confused on how I feel about Sam and.. We've, well we've went further than kissing a few times" she admitted.

Freddie wanted to lay down, wanted to cry, wanted to do anything but face reality "We.. We're done" he finally said "I love you Carly, I'll always love you" he said, "But if you think I'll just sit back and let you experiment because you might have feelings for Sam you're wrong" he said. Carly nodded Turning around he went to the door and started to open it.

_Tears filled my eyes  
As we said our last goodbyes  
This sad scene replays  
Of you walking away__  
_

Carly mumbled a goodbye, a sentiment returned by Freddie. Freddie closed the door, tears in his eyes as he imagined Carly walking away, playing in his head like a bad movie he wanted to forget. "Damn it Carly" he said, sinking to the floor as he held his head in his hands. "What did I do?" he asked himself, repeating the line he'd asked last time he'd broken up with Carly. Maybe he should go over there and apologize.. No, he had done nothing wrong. She had lied to him, cheated on him, and he had broken up with her.. That was natural wasn't it?

Freddie sighed, wanting desperately to go over and talk to her.. See if they could work things out. Just as these thoughts swam around his head he heard a knock on the door, he stood up and opened the door to find a crying Carly, without hesitation he pulled her into a hug and sighed "what happened Carly?" he asked softly "I just.. I thought a possible life without you" she said, "and I hated it.. I couldn't live without you in my life as a friend" she said.

_Time and again,  
She repeats let's be friends  
I smile and say yes  
Another truth bends,  
I must confess _

I freeze "Friends?" he asked numbly "J-just friends?" he asked pulling back to look at her. Carly looked up "Yeah, I mean.. We're just friends Freddie" she said. He couldn't help but nod and smiled "F-fine.. Friends are fine" he said softly "But I need to go" he said softly, fearing if he said anymore he would confess he would admit his lie.

Carly nodded numbly and smiled "See you tomorrow?" Freddie nodded and sighed. The next day he walked out of the door and smiled "Hey Freddie" Carly said as Sam walked into the doorway "Hey Ca- Hi Carly" he said ,slightly deflated. Carly, of course, noticed and looked concerned "Are you okay?" she asked softly. "I'm fine" Freddie lied and mentally winced, another lie he told.

_I try to let go, but I know  
We'll never end 'til we're dust  
We lied to each other again  
But I wish I could trust _

Carly looked at Freddie and tried not to cry, what had happened to them? In less than 24 hours they had gone to best friends to barely talking. "What's the matter?" she asked again. "I said nothing" he said, looking down. She could tell he was lying, she knew him too well. "Freddi-" she began but was cut off by Sam pulling on her arm "I'll talk to you later" she whispered before leaving with Sam.

Freddie closed his eyes, trying desperately to let go, but he knew he would never really be able to move on from Carly.

**Two years later**

Freddie looked down at the picture of him and Carly when they had been 17, not they were 19 and getting ready to go with college. Carly was still the girl next door, and he still loved her, but she was still with Sam and they showed no signs of breaking up anytime soon. Carly looked at him with sympathetic looks every time their gaze's met and he just nodded. Everyday it was the same old interaction with her. "Are you okay Freddie?" she would ask. He would nod and lie "I'm fine Carly."

Their entire relationship was build on lies now, he would lie and say he was okay and she would lie and pretend she believed him.

_How could this be happening to me  
I'm lying when I say "Trust me"  
I can't believe this is true  
Trust hurts  
Why does trust equal suffering _

Looking down he sighed, his mind screaming at him to run over to the apartment across the street and confess his true feelings for her, and hope to rebuild their trust. Freddie stopped and pondered that word, **Trust**, what exactly did that mean? He had lost the true meaning two years ago, when his relationship with the only person he had ever really trusted had fell apart. She had broken his trust, and he had broken hers.. the only conclusion he could come to was that Trust hurts.. Trust, for some reason, equals suffering.

_My body aches from mistakes  
Betrayed by lust  
We lied to each other so much  
That in nothing we trust_

God help me please, on my knees  
Betrayed by lust  
We lied to each other so much  
That in nothing we trust

Freddie fell into his bed after school and work and sighed, He had talked to Carly that day and.. It hadn't gone so well.

"Hey Carly" he said walking up to her as she closed her locker "Listen.." he said "I just, I know we've been distant lately but.. I just wanted to know if you wanted to hang out after schoo-" he began before being cut off by a quick kiss b Carly, who quickly covered her mouth then put her hands down as Sam walked up "hey guys, what's going on?" she asked. Carly shook her head "Nothing, Freddie wanted to hang out but I just remembered I'm busy" she lied and they walked away.

Freddie sighed and leaned against the lockers, adding another lie upon their already ruined relationship.. Would they ever trust each other again?

_Absolutely nothing we trust_


	2. iSnap

Finally the day had come. They were going to start college at Seattle University, they had all agreed to go to the same college so they wouldn't have to split up and could still do the show. Freddie packed up the bag and sighed, slipping a picture of him and Carly into his bag before zipping it up. Looking around his room he had to admit that even though he had suffered so much embarrassment at the hands of his mother he would miss it.

Even though he was going to college he had tried to distance himself from Carly and Sam to much. Carly and his relationship had been tarnished, not just by her leaving him for Sam but the lies that had built up with them over the years. Freddie smiled as his mother came in.

After he reassured her that he had everything packed he headed out into the hall and almost ran into Carly and took a deep breath.

"Hey Carly" he said softly, "Sam" he said in a not so friendly tone.

"Hey Freddie" Carly replied, narrowing her eyes at his tone "Are you okay Freddie?" she asked.

Shrugging it off Freddie smirked "Well, of course I am Carly" he said and started to walk away "I'll always be happy, as long as your happy" he finished with a whisper, so they couldn't hear him.

Sam, oblivious as usual, took a bit of her Fat Cake and looked at her girlfriend "What's his problem?" she asked.

Carly opened the door to the Shay apartment and threw her bag down "Don't worry about it" she said and slumped down on the couch. "It's fine" she lied and closed her eyes,. Her consciousness sneered at her as she thought about the newest lie she'd had to tell to keep up with the others. She knew that her relationship with Sam had been build on lies, and now her and Freddie's were being smothered by the lies between them. She knew Freddie wasn't okay, that he felt jealous.

"I want to back in time" She muttered as Sam sat down, "And fix everything"

Sam looked at her strangely but decided not to breach the subject, instead calmly suggesting "You know you can talk to me, right cupcake?" and smiled in relief when Carly nodded her head.

Meanwhile down in the lobby Freddie headed to the door and struggled to hold his thoughts back, he had lied to Carly AGAIN. "All I do anymore is lie to her" he muttered as he headed to the parking lot and got in his car, not sure where he was going but needing to go somewhere.

Pulling into the Groovy Smoothy he leaned back in his seat and allowed his thoughts free roam, they immediately stampeded through his brain like an angry herd, eager to be heard. Freddie had lied, again, to her.. But what was he supposed to say? That watching her with the woman that hat tormented him from the day they had met didn't shatter his heart every time? That he wanted to punch Sam, make her hurt as badly as he hurt?

Gritting his teeth he opened the car door and walked into his childhood hangout. "Hey T-Bo" he said walking up and ordering a strawberry Smoothy.

"Hey Freddie" T-Bo greeted casually "Where's the other two?"

Freddie winced and sighed "It's complicated" he said simply and T-Bo nodded in understanding.

Taking his smoothy he walked back out to his car and sat there for a moment before clicking on the radio. Every song on every station seemed to be the same old crap about getting the girl of his dreams so he shut it off "Even in music they get the girl" he growled before taking another drink of his smoothy.

Freddie blamed himself, if he was honest with himself, but he blamed Sam too. Forcing his thoughts back to other things he put the smoothy in the cup holder and resolved to talk to Carly and be honest this time. He needed to tell her soon or he felt like he was going to go insane.

Back at the Shay apartment Carly looked up at Sam as the blonde girl raided the fridge "I wonder where Freddie went" she asked casually.

Sam looked at her like she was sick and grinned in excitement as she pulled out some ham "Who cares?" she asked, "I mean, the best thing you ever did was end it with that nub" she said.

Carly looked up sharply "Don't talk about Freddie like that!" she said suddenly and blushed softly "I mean um, he's a good guy.. Whatever girl gets him will be lucky to have him" she said softly.

Sam stopped eating for a moment "Do you still love him?" she asked, crossing her arms under her chest and looking at her "Do you still love that nub?" she asked curiously.

Carly shifted in her seat "I don't know" she said softly "I love you... But in a way I love him" she said "Does that make sense?"

Sam nodded and sighed, she'd feared something like this would happen, she couldn't expect Carly to just forget all that had happened between Freddie and her. "It's fine cupcake" she said "I understand" she said honestly.

Walking over to the couch she sat next to Carly and smiled "But lets not think about that right now" she whispered softly and pressed her lips against Carly's. Closing her eyes the brunette kissed her girlfriend softly and wrapped her arms around her, trying to lose herself in the kiss. The kiss made everything seem so simple, it was just them and nothing else just like it should be.

Freddie walked in just as Sam had crawled on top of Carly and had began kissing her deeply, more passionately. Before he could control himself he slammed the door on them and headed back to his apartment.

Sam looked up as she saw Freddie slam the door, she quickly crawled off Carly and sighed "I'm going to go talk to him" she said to a confused looking Carly "Stay here"

Walking out the door she quickly walked across the hall to Freddie's door and opened it. "You should really lock your doors" she called out as she slipped into the doorway.

Freddie appeared in the doorway of his room, not looking amused, "What's the point? If Carly wanted to talk to me she'd just have you break in for her" he said dryly.

Sam shrugged "Okay you got me there" she said, "What's with you lately?" she asked curiously as she continued to walk towards him.

"You stay away from me" he warned, his voice strained as if he was holding himself back.

"What's your problem Freddork?" she asked and ignored her warning, standing toe to toe with him now, "You got a problem with me? That it?" she asked.

Freddie closed his eyes, resisting the urge to hit her "Listen to me" he said calmly "I don't want to talk to you right now" he warned again, images of her touching Carly.. Kissing Carly.. Holding Carly.. "Please"

"No I'm not going anywhere" she said, "Is this about Carly? Because she left you for-" She didn't get to finish the sentence as a blinding pain hit her eye and suddenly she was sitting on her butt.

"I told you to go away" said a standing Freddie, panting with his fist clenched and outstretched. Suddenly it made sense.

"You hit me!" she said in surprise "What the hell dude?"

"You want to know what's wrong with me?" he asked, just barely holding in his anger, "You, for all the years we've known each other, have constantly abused me both mentally and physically, but I let it happen because I didn't care, I was focused on the girl I've loved since I met her" he paused to take a breath, not noticing Carly walking in to see what the noise was, "You've smashed my possesions, do you know how many Pear phones I've hard to go through since I met you? But again, it didn't matter because I loved Carly and that was what I focused on"

Closing his eyes he tried not to let his anguish come through as he spoke again "And finally she gave me a chance, and I was ecstatic.. and it worked out! We were working, I had the love of my life as my girlfriend and I was in seventh heaven.. But no, you saw I was happy and so you had to act, you took my happiness away just like you always do" he said "Now get out, I'll do iCarly with you for the fans, but I want nothing to do with you Sam" he finished, turning to slam his door, never noticing Carly standing there.. Her mouth covering her hand.

**Note:** So that's chapter two, I was asked to continue it and I can't deny a reader. Plus I had a good idea for another chapter. I apologize if there's any grammar errors. I'm working on getting a beta reader to help, so if anyone is a beta reader feel free to leave me a message. Oh and I don't own iCarly.


	3. iTalk

The next day was iCarly. Freddie, as promised, showed up to work the camera and various special effects needed to run the show. The tension between him and Sam will still there, and he could feel the glares Sam would shoot at him every once and a while. All the drama between them soured the mood of the entire show and it was felt from the opening countdown to the "We're clear" at the end.

Freddie headed for the door the moment he set the camera down and sighed. He was eager to get out of there and finish preparing for college. He took the stairs two at a time and nodded briefly at Spencer who waved back.

"Hey kiddo" Spencer said, Carly had told him all about what she'd seen and even if she hadn't it was obvious something had happened between Sam and him. "Need to talk about anything?" he asked, aware of the entire situation after talking with Carly and Sam.

Freddie looked down "Let me guess.. Sam came over here and told you guys everything" he said, "And now you want my side of the story?" he asked dryly.

Spencer shook his head "Carly told me everything, she was standing there when you hit Sam" he said.

Freddie's heart stopped "Oh god.." he muttered, "I-I never wanted her to hear that I just.. I snapped Spencer" he said.

Spencer nodded and took a seat at the kitchen table, motioning for Freddie to join him.

Walking over to the table, he slid into the chair next to Spencer's with a sigh. "I- Sam came over to my house to see why I was acting so odd and I just, I wanted her to go away" he said, his voice threatening to crack, '"And she wouldn't, and I just snapped."

Spencer nodded "Want to tell me what had you the on edge that badly you snapped and hit Sam?" he asked, his voice neither accusing nor suspicious, just curious.

" Okay you know for as long as you guys have known me I've had feelings for Carly right?" he asked, "Well when we finally started dating it was like a dream come true. All those years of abuse and mental anguish I went three to be around Carly had finally paid off. Then I come home from some stupid trip my mom made me go to and I find Sam making out with my girlfriend!" You could hear the anguish in his voice. "And that was it. She won."

Spencer felt bad for Freddie, and really wished he could help, but he had no idea how he was supposed to help him "I'm sorry Freddie" he said sympathetically " I see where you're coming from" he finally finished.

Just as Freddie opened his mouth to speak Carly and Sam came down from the studio and the mood in the room went from normal to sub zero.

"Thanks for the talk Spencer" Freddie said and hurried to the door. Carly gave Sam a worried look as Sam went to the kitchen. With a groan she headed after Freddie "Wait!" she said closing the door behind her and following him into his apartment.

Spinning around he looked ready for a fight until he saw it was Carly "What do you want?" he asked, trying to sound annoyed when all he really wanted to do was kiss her and make everything go away.

"I want to know why you hit Sam" she said, crossing her arms under her chest.

"Oh like you don't know." He practically snarled. "You were listening the entire time, or so Spencer told me."

"Yes, but I want to hear it from your mouth" she said, not flinching as he clenched his fists, "Oh cut it out" she finally snapped "We both know you won't hurt me" she said.

As his fists unclenched he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding "Of course not, I could ever hurt the perfect Carly Shay" he said bitterly, "But by God she can do whatever she wants with someone else's feelings."

"Look I didn't mean-" she began but was cut off by him laughing.

"You never MEAN to Carly, and before that was enough because I was ignorant enough to believe you gave a damn about me" he said, moving closer to her.

She looked startled "You think I don't care? I lo- I Care about you Freddie, and that won't ever change"

"You lie" he hissed, "If you cared you wouldn't have cheated on me with your best friend!" he said. "You would have told me you didn't feel that way about me before we started dating, or anything other than the way that I had to find out that I wasn't good enough for the great Carly Shay! But I don't just blame you, oh don't worry" he continued, taking a breath before continuing.

"Sam has equal blame in this. She just can't stand to see me happy, and the one time that I was finally happy, the one time I had finally gotten what I'd been working for since I was ELEVEN YEARS OLD she just couldn't stand it, so she had to take that away from me too, I'm just surprised that you were ignorant enough to fall for it" he said.

Carly looked like as if she was going to cry, instead she slapped him, "I don't know what you want-"

"What I want?" he asked, "You seriously cannot figure out that what I want more in this world is for you to want me? That's right Carly Shay_, I want you to want me, I need you to need me._ Ring a bell? " He asked, "That wasn't just a song I showed you because I thought it was a good song, that describes my entire relationship with you! I've been wanting you since I was eleven, and when I finally get that you tear it away from me"

Finally he stopped, his breathing labored from talking so much, and Carly nodded "I-I'm sorry Freddie" she said, her voice cracking "I am so sorry that I wasn't able to. I know how you feel about me and I hope it can go away so that the way I feel can go away too" she sighed, "I love Sam.. but part of me will always love you"

Freddie snapped his attention up to her "What?" he asked

"P-Part of me still loves you" she admitted "And I am sorry that I put you th-"

She was cut off by him crashing his lips against hers and kissing her passionately. Closing her eyes she moaned softly into the kiss pulling their bodies together until she realized who she was kissing. Pushing him back quickly she shook her head "You can't just kiss me like that!" she said.

"Why not? You were enjoying it!" he protested.

"I have a girlfriend!" she reminded him.

He looked guilty for a moment then shrugged "Why should I care? Your girlfriend didn't care when you had a boyfriend" he retorted.

She sighed "It wasn't like that. You were out of town and.." she trailed off, not really wanting to get into this now.

"Oh I gotta here this" he said "I remember leaving, and telling you I'd be missing you every day and when I came home you acted like I was an alien, then I discovered why" he said, not trying to hide the bitterness from his voice.

"I don't want to tell you" she said "It's not really-"

"Don't you dare say it's not any of my business!" he said "If you don't tell me I'll find someone who will."

She laughed "Oh? Like who, my girlfriend whom you hit yesterday?"

He looked at her in disbelief "You're defending her?"

"She's my GIRLFRIEND" she said, "Remember?"

"She has constantly caused me both mental and physical harm, and the one time I strike back is because she takes something that's important to me?" he shouted "That's bullshit Carly and you know it."

"Oh is it? Whatever, I'm done" she said, her voice threatening to crack again as she turned around, opened his door, and stomped over to her apartment.

Throwing the door open she ignored Sam who asked "What's wrong Cupcake?"

Sam sat up, putting two and two together, and followed after her up the stairs "What did he do?" she asked.

"Just leave me alone Sam, I need to be alone, I just need to hom-"

Sam cut her off "I'm not going anywhere" she said, wincing as Carly's door slammed.

"GO HOME!" was heard and Sam sighed.

"Fine" she muttered sadly before leaving the apartment.

Back in her room Carly slumped down on the bed and let the tears fall "I am so sorry Freddie" she whispered "Sam.. I don't deserve either one of you." This whole situation was bearing down on her, and she was beginning to crack. Looking over at the small nightstand beside her bed she picked up a picture of the three of them, back when they had started iCarly. Her index finger traced the entire length of the frame as she studied the picture "What happened to us?" she muttered as fresh tears came back "I just want things to be the way they were" she cried.

Even though, deep down, she knew they never would be.

**Note: **Okay so I was asked to put how Sam and Carly ended up together by Miss Nostalgia, who I want to thank for her awesome reviews, and I didn't get to it this chapter. Next chapter I'll probably work that in, depending on how the ideas come to me. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I don't own iCarly or I Want You to Want Me by Cheap Trick which is referenced in this chapter. Please Read and Review!


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